How NOT to Visit Poas Volcano!
December 30th 2022
Arriving in Costa Rica and Poas Volcano Tour Woes
Arrived in San Jose Costa Rica close to 10pm, customs was painless, baggage claim was zippy, and I grabbed a cab to the DoubleTree Cariari for $7k colones (~$12). I always love to warm up my Spanish with taxi drivers, they seem to be the most patient souls on the planet. Checked into my room, set myself up for my Poas Volcano trip the following morning, and tried my best to fall asleep as quickly as possible.
I was so stoked that I had found a tour that only promised breakfast and a volcano. For some reason, all of the tours are determined to spend the 2 most likely blue-sky-morning-hours at a coffee farm rather than immediately heading to the Poas Volcano, NOTORIOUS for being shrouded in clouds. After eating a small breakfast of rice and beans and cheese and strawberry yogurt, my tour dude arrived at ~7:10am and I jumped into the shuttle with several other folks. We made a couple more hotel stops to pick up guests and then …. were informed we were going to a coffee farm. I was silently fuming. Relieved, at least, that he promised only 30 minutes there, I tried to shove my frustrations below the surface. We arrived at the Doka coffee cafe + farm, which in actuality is a gift shop and a viewing platform because you are not allowed into the field. Suffered through a painfully familiar, drawn out, and bilingual explanation of coffee harvest and processing. Was very happy when we got back on the bus.
Next stop was breakfast. I knew this was coming, but I didn’t really think it would be a stop of its own. Pulled off the mountain to a small restaurant where we were nearly the only patrons (a god send). I ordered the gallo pinto breakfast: rice and beans, plantain, farm cheese, fried egg. Delicious, passed on the cheese though, a bit too farm-y tasting for me. During breakfast we were informed that we would be making yet ANOTHER stop on the way to the volcano, to try strawberries, wine, and cheese. Thankfully, a British lady who was also panicking about the volcano cloudiness requested we do that on the way back, and Fila rearranged our plans (my hero).
This move turned out to be huge, because upon arrival to the crater (after a small 0.5 mile walk up a slightly inclined paved path), we were able to view the crater for all of 5 minutes before it got totally socked in for the rest of the hour and a half that we were there. After it disappeared, I started the hike over to Lake Botos, an extinct crater with a turquoise lagoon. Again, another well paved path through a damp volcanic jungle, passing Ticos in parkas. I was particularly tickled by a family consisting of a mother in a fur-trimmed coat and Russian fur hat and a father pulling the daughter-wearing-fur-hat behind him upon a 2 foot tall horse on wheels. Botos was super socked in. I hung around for like 15 minutes before I gave up, and walked back to the crater to see if it had come back out to play. Another 15 minutes of waiting with no yield, so I returned to the parking lot, hoping that others had had the same inkling and wouldn’t mind an earlier return journey. I was wrong there, and we didn’t leave until 11:30 am (about 1.5 hours after seeing 5 minutes of crater – eye roll).
The strawberry stop was maybe the most depressing of the series. What amounted to a souvenir shop that sold strawberries, we were handed a thimble of local wine to sample and a millimeter of cheese on a toothpick. No strawberries for sampling, only for purchase. But please, have your fill of all these Costa Rica souvenirs we have loaded this place up with. I was happy to leave. We lost a few folks at this stop, they switched over to another guide and shuttle to go to the La Paz waterfall garden. That left just me, another girl from Dubai, and the older British couple (who strongly recommended the bioluminescent snorkeling, even though it only lasted ten minutes because they attacked by sea lice). Rana and I got to talking about travel destinations in the US and she brought up Sedona which I was stoked to sing praises for. Once we broached the spiritual side of things, she revealed her passion for astrology religion, and plugged in my birthday date, time, and location to pull up my birth chart and give me a very thorough reading. Most interesting was the reference to my past life in which I was a workaholic, and the lesson I need to learn in this life is discovering more balance. She finished my reading just as we were getting into San Jose and all the starting and stopping made me super nauseous, just made it to my hotel in time to avoid certain doom.
Laid down until the nausea subsided and then took my book out to the pool to read and enjoy some tropical sunshine. Unfortunately, the sunshine was a bit optimistic, we were in full overcast mode post noon o’clock. I read until I got too cold, then read in the hot tub until I got too hungry, then sat down at the pool restaurant for a pretty mediocre lunch. Thankfully Dan had packed me some chocolate and that was a good post-sad-lunch pick-me-up.
In Conclusion
In summary, for the love of all that is efficiency and volcano views, rent a car and go see the volcano on your own. Since the hike to the volcano itself is so short, you can combine this with another volcano in one day! But honestly, the next time I go, my sights are set on Turrialba, which you need to do with a guide and is multi day but sounds significantly more satisfying.
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